dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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