I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
