Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
