Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
