I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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