ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
