I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
