why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
