i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
