I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
