Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Randomize
