Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
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Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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