on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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