I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
