shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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