So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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