Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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