Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
