I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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