Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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