News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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