worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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