Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
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An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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