1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i just sent this text using only my big toe
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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