um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
that is very illegal...i love you.
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