I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
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