can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
