he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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