I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
