He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
