I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
there was a trapeze. enough said
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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