i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Can I color on your dick again?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
