i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drink are we having for lunch?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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