i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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