I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He passed out mid-signature
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence