I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.