Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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