Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
