Hey man sorry I got all grabby
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
