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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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