so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize