Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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