Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
