he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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