literally had 100 drinks last night.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Enjoy the penises
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
