I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
