she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
