you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
