he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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