remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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