take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
