Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
