So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
