she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
