Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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